Dialogue Between Me and the French

Well, as most know I used to work at a company which is infested by french people. They're everywhere. Sometimes in my line of work I'm required to make phone calls to various companies in other parts of the world to get help for forign software. This past week, I was asked to make a call to france. The guy I was calling I was told spoke good english, but if we got into problems I could ask this other guy in my department to be our go-between.

I made the phone call. As soon as I dialed, my interpreter left his desk. The phone rang about 7 times and eventually a woman answered. The person I was looking for was a guy. This is the dialogue, I'll insert jibberish where french lingo comes into play.

France: Jabberwocky Buttershingles.
America: Hello, do you speak english?
France: A little.
America: My name is Jim in the United States, I'm looking for.....

At this point I realize that the fool that gave me the phone number only gave me a number and a first name. For all I know, I have the wrong number

America: ...... ummm.. OK, it's spelled L-O-I-C.
France: (In extreme accent) What is the business?
America: Well, you see I work for an automotive supplier and I had some questions reguarding the Treso WIN installation.
France: (insert 10 secs of silence) May I take a message?
America: Certainly.
France: Your Name?
America: Jim.
France: How is that spelled?
America: J-I-M
France: Slower please.
America: J-----I------M
France: .....J.....
America: ....I.....
France: .....I.....
America: .....M.......
France: .....N......
America: No, that's not right, the last letter was a "M"
France: Let me repeat this. J-I-N?
America: (let's out sigh, looks for interpreter, not to be found) J----I----M.
France: (In heavy accent again)Ok, Mr. Jin....
America: No, JIM is my first name. My last name is ........

The company is an open office environment. Meaning there are no walls around people like in Office Space or The Net. It is like a brightly lit warehouse with I lot of desks and cabinets in it. Seeing how I've been spelling all my words, people have now begun to stare.

France: I-L-L-I? No?
America: No.....
France: Swoshbuckler Purplemedal Cakemaker Marfengaggle.
America: (to self) Yeah, I can't understand you a damn bit either.
France: OK, now what is your suite?
America: Oh, jeez you want my address now. OK, this is going to need special attention or something. Hold on a second.
France: Chubbernuc.......
America: (Looks for interpreter and sees him) (With hostility in voice) Hey, tell this person who I am, where I am, where I can be reached, what I want.. etc.
French Interpreter: (to America) OK, (to phone) Wibblenacker flogknocker flipgiggle donutsmash Misure Jimbob wrinklezinger United States........
Office people: (to America) Who are you talking to, Are you looking for Loic? J--I---M?????
America: This was about impossible, I'm not calling france again until I learn the language.

Fin

So far, nobody has called me back.