Melancholy Dragon

Look out kids, it's another game review! This time around it's good old Blue Dragon, an old-school style RPG for the 360. I've referenced it a few times in other reviews, and my many avid readers who (rightfully) pore over every detail of my writings regarding the video games I play will know that I could easily sum up Blue Dragon in one syllable: Meh.

Blue Dragon is chock full of cliche and proud of it. It smears its chest with it and flings it at passers by. See if any of these are vaguely familiar:

- Spiky haired kid as the main character.
- Small, innocent home town destroyed by villain (the "Land Shark.")
- A party member whose parents were killed by the bad guy.
- Long, drawn out FMV scenes for super-attacks.
- A plucky, wacky, non-human party member who provides the comic relief (In Japan, annoying as fuck = comedy.)
- An unexpected twist involving the main villain at the end!

Plucky and determined. Check.

Simply put, Blue Dragon is generic as all get-out. From the plot to the enemies to the characters themselves. You'll find dungeons, treasure chests, bosses and, well, everything you'd expect from a Japanese RPG. The combat offers a slight twist on the turn based stuff that's been the standard since forever: spells (and certain attacks) are able to be charged up, making them more powerful at the cost of waiting longer to strike. The character creation is likewise well done, with the choice to choose which class you level up in at any given time. Each class teaches you skills, which can then be carried over as you change classes. I daresay it's reminiscent of the Final Fantasy Tactics development system.

Look out, kids. The Land Shark will be reigning terror over your town next!

It's a shame they didn't take as much care with the mapping system. Namely, there isn't one. You have a small HUD showing your immediate area and that's it. This seems to be a recurring theme in my reviews, so it may be me that's screwed up rather than the game designers. The original Diablo got the automap thing just right. Anyhow, there are some areas I enjoyed, such as the dark little town with the killer tree that eats people, and the town with the ancient servant robots awaiting the return of The Master. The music is likewise solid, if unspectacular. The exception is the boss battle theme, which is super ultra generic hard rock featuring Ian Gillian from Deep Purple yelling and hollering. Yes, you read that right. It actually made me reach for the mute button a few times.

Shu and Maromaru vs Scary Moth!

Blue Dragon isn't terrible, it just never really draws you in. Yes, it's overly familiar but Dragon Quest VIII proved that a game can be familiar, cliched and terrific all at the same time. If you're a 360 owner and you need your RPG fix (assuming you've already spent time with Oblivion) Blue Dragon is a decent option, a few steps behind Eternal Sonata. It just won't blow you away.

Scoop of vanilla, scoop of chocolate. Don't waste my time.