Rants from the Alright Guys: I watch children's TV now

Watching inane TV shows comes with being a parent it seems. Daughter gets a couple of hours of Disney in the morning. These shows vary in quality.

Handy Manny is probably the best of the bunch. Manny and a bunch of anthropomorphic tools (You break it - we fix it!) go around the small town of Sheetrock Falls fixing things for people, speaking some Spanish and being good citizens. It's a nifty little show that doesn't annoy me. It also makes me happy when I hear Fred Willard or the lady that plays Rosario on Will & Grace on the show.

The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is about in the middle of the pack. It's not bad, it's just kind of there. Mickey comes on at the beginning and sings a demonic chant to the devil to summon the clubhouse from the depths of hell, then Mickey is granted 4 tools which will be used to solve a dilemma on the show. These dilemmas often involve Pete, the big...animal-manbearpig thing that will occasionally try to fuck with their day. The odd part of the show is the song and dance at the end. All the characters dance and sing the hot-dog hot-dog hot-diggity-dog song. It's an odd fit for Mickey, but it's his show I guess.

The Little Einsteins seemed harmless enough at first, but the more I see the show the more I am convinced that it is created by harpies, gremlins and imps in a deep dark cave inside a twisted, dank swamp somewhere. Probably Hell or New Jersey. Each episode features a piece of classic artwork and a classical tune. I'm afraid that somewhere there are parents that think this helps make their kids smarter or more cultured or something. The shows are always stupid, mindless shit even for a kids show. They'll run around singing something dumb to the classical music selected for that show. Maybe it's that it has children singing that bothers me. Maybe the fact that it introduces kids to the concept of catchphrases is the problem. Everytime the little black boy exclaims "I CAN NOT BE-LIEVE IT!" I want to reach into the TV and slap him. I just can't put my finger on the exact cause of my hatred for this show. HARPIES AND GREMLINS.

Winnie the Pooh is now a Super Sleuth along with Tigger and Darby (the replacement for Christopher Robin.) Darby, her dog Buster and Lumpy the heffalump are the only new members of the Hundred Acre Woods, all the regulars from the old Pooh cartoons are here except for I think there was an owl that has been evicted. They hang out in the woods until someone flashes the bat signal in the sky, then they go and rescue whoever is being beaten/mugged/lost something etc. This show is pretty good for what it is, though it makes me miss the old animated series. Pooh is now CGI? Say it ain't so.

There is evil in the world, kids. Real, tangible evil. Evil that kills kittens and babies. Human muppets singing and dancing. Words for this show fail me. Devil, Doodlebops be thy name.

In other news, I've had the week off from work which has been fantastic. I've largely spent the time doing nothing, which is awesome. I've been playing Culdcept Saga (which none of my friends play) and Assassin's Creed, which is probably the nicest looking game I've ever seen but a little frustrating to play.