If I had a Million Dollars....I'd be Rich

Everyone's at least thought about it. What would you do if you suddenly had wealth beyond your wildest dreams? I don't believe that money makes you happy, but I know lack of money can make you unhappy in the form of debt which requires work which sucks for many of us. Here are a few things I'd do if my long lost uncle Goober suddenly left me a million billion dollars:


Just for shits and giggles, here's one I like to call "Before."


- I'd break stuff a lot with the other AG. It's just something we like to do.

- I probably wouldn't completely quit working, oddly enough. I'd find a simple job that I enjoyed and work about a dozen hours a week. Work is a lot less stressful when you know it's optional.

- I'd pay off all of my debt, and the debt of my friends and family. Each of the Alright Guys would get a big wad of cash to buy a house, etc.

- I'd get a home obviously. Apart from all of the typical fancy house stuff, I'd have a big fucking gaming room for the game consoles and a room for LAN gaming. I'd have a theatre style room for movies. I'd have a slushy machine with Mt Dew, Dr Pepper, Orange, Blue Raspberry, Pepsi and Cherry (for Kat.)

- I'd probably keep my minivan.

- I'd do my best to put a stop to Christina Aguilera ever releasing music or leaving her house again.

- I'd start a film studio and produce films with Anthony Hopkins, Kevin Spacey, Ed Norton and other top notch actors. Anything with Richard Gere, Wynona Ryder or David Duchovny would be vetoed.

- I'd get cable TV and NFL Sunday ticket.

- I'd probably give to charities and shit after I got myself and my people all set up.

- I'd move the wedding date up and have a nice wedding without having to worry about costs.

- I'd have machine gun turrets posted on the towers outside my home. Probably never fire 'em, it'd just look cool.

- I'd have a never ending stock of Mint 'n Creme Oreos. Mmmmm.


And the aptly named "After."



- What would you do?