Dumb things I did as a kid.

I was over at Master Foley's site and he had an article about this which of course sent me on a trip down mememory lane... so here goes...

1. put a pudding cup in my coat pocket just before playing football at recess.

2. stabbed a kid with a sharpened pencil.

3. peed in a cup and brought it too school.

4. took a pair of wagon axles and pretended i was a car racing down a hill holding on to them with my hands and feet.

5. ate a worm.

6. went sledding into a barbed wire fence.

7. crushed a 12″ vertical stack of smarties… with my forehead.

8. showed off just how long i could stand holding onto an electric fence.

9. not learning my lesson the first time, peed on the same electric fence.

10. broke my foot in half on a bus evacutation drill.

11. broke a mirror over my head.

12. broke a large stack of pencils over my head over and over again until they were all about an inch long.

13. tied my sister up naked to a support column in our basement. (no i didnt do any sexual touching or anything like that. humilation was the goal)

14. stabbed my brother in the butt with a butcher's knife while me and my sister were supposed to be babysitting him.

15. ate dirt.

16. ate raw deer meat. right out of a fresh kill.

17. set Mr. Nuts' bedroom floor on fire after writing things in it with lighter fluid.

18. bonged a two liter of Mt. Dew.

19. let someone punch me in the stomach afterwards thus expelling all of the Mt. Dew and my lunch.

20. gave away all of the doughnuts at the bakery for .25 a dozen, thus later losing my job.

21. stepped on a nail. on purpose. to see if it would come up through the top. it did.

22. brought a stick to a log fight. left with my skull caved in.

23. brought my head to a fist fight. left with a concussion but he got three broken ribs.

24. made my own pair of nunchukus. i do not have the hand-eye coordination to use such things. tack on another concussion...

25. drove a tractor into a tree. thus relieving it of any nesseccary axels.

26. stole candy from my second grade teacher's candy jar. that was a lot of sentence writing.

27. gave the candy away... for free... what the fuck was i thinking?

28. got drunk. i was 11.

29. got high off whip-its. i was 12.

30. tried to kill myself via electrocution involving a welder and a large pool of water. still twitch from that every now and then. i was 13. on a good note, i lost all desire to ever kill myself again after that.

31. shot at my sister and brother with a beebee gun.

32. let them shoot at me with one.

33. tried to see how high straight up i could shoot an arrow. after narrowly dodging the first attempt i continued on for an entire quiver (12 arrows), but i paid more attention to the rest of them.

34. built a fort.... in a thorn bush.

35. made a bet at age 10 for $10 that i wouldn't date a girl until i graduated. made it to the end of my senior year without actually "going steady." hit 2nd base before 9th grade though. 3rd by 11th. and 4th shortly after graduation.

36. played hide-n-go-seek in a cornfield. got lost for over two hours.

37. tried to breath fire by inhaling butane and lighting it. burned off my nose hairs and my eyebrows. nothing smells worse then burnt hair right underneath your nose.

38. did it again in college. lost my mustache. didn't smell any better.

39. picked a fight with my football and wrestling coach bulked up bad ass uncle when i was 10.

40. theatened to use my newly made nunchukus.