Stuck Inside of AOL with Bob Dylan Again

Here for your viewing pleasure are the lyrics to Bob Dylan's "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again" translated from English to retarded 12-year old AOL user speak, courtesy of this site:

Here's the original, followed by the translation:

Oh, the ragman draws circles
Up and down the block.
I'd ask him what the matter was
But I know that he don't talk.
And the ladies treat me kindly
And furnish me with tape,
But deep inside my heart
I know I can't escape.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Well, Shakespeare, he's in the alley
With his pointed shoes and his bells,
Speaking to some French girl,
Who says she knows me well.
And I would send a message
To find out if she's talked,
But the post office has been stolen
And the mailbox is locked.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Mona tried to tell me
To stay away from the train line.
She said that all the railroad men
Just drink up your blood like wine.
An' I said, "Oh, I didn't know that,
But then again, there's only one I've met
An' he just smoked my eyelids
An' punched my cigarette."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Grandpa died last week
And now he's buried in the rocks,
But everybody still talks about
How badly they were shocked.
But me, I expected it to happen,
I knew he'd lost control
When he built a fire on Main Street
And shot it full of holes.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Now the senator came down here
Showing ev'ryone his gun,
Handing out free tickets
To the wedding of his son.
An' me, I nearly got busted
An' wouldn't it be my luck
To get caught without a ticket
And be discovered beneath a truck.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,

To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Now the preacher looked so baffled
When I asked him why he dressed
With twenty pounds of headlines
Stapled to his chest.
But he cursed me when I proved it to him,
Then I whispered, "Not even you can hide.
You see, you're just like me,
I hope you're satisfied."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Now the rainman gave me two cures,
Then he said, "Jump right in."
The one was Texas medicine,
The other was just railroad gin.
An' like a fool I mixed them
An' it strangled up my mind,
An' now people just get uglier
An' I have no sense of time.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

When Ruthie says come see her
In her honky-tonk lagoon,
Where I can watch her waltz for free
'Neath her Panamanian moon.
An' I say, "Aw come on now,
You must know about my debutante."
An' she says, "Your debutante just knows what you
need
But I know what you want."
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile
With the Memphis blues again.

Now the bricks lay on Grand Street
Where the neon madmen climb.
They all fall there so perfectly,
It all seems so well timed.
An' here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
Oh, Mama, can this really be the end,
To be stuck inside of Mobile

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Translated to AOL speak:

O TEH RAGMAN DRAWS CIRCLES
UP AND DOWN DA BLOK
ID!!!11!1 WTF LOL ASK HIM WT MAT3R WAS
BUT I KNOW TAHT HA DONT TOK
AND!!!1!!1 LOL DA LADEIS TR3AT M3 KINDLY
AND FURNISH MA WIT TAEP
BUT DEP INSIED MAH HEART
I KNOW I CANT O!1!11! MMA CAN THIS RILLY B TEH 3ND
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT TEH MEMPHIS BLUES AGANE
WEL!11!! SHAEKSPEAER H3S IN TEH WIT HIS POINTED SHOES AND
HIS BLS
SPEAKNG 2 SOME FR3NCH GIRL
WHO SAYS SH3 KNOWS ME W3L
AND1!!!!!1 OMG I WUD S3ND A MESAEG
2 FIND OUT IF SHES TOKAD
BUT DA POST OFIEC HAS BAN S2L3N
AND DA MALEBOX IS O!11!1!1 MMA CAN THIS RILLY B TEH END
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT TEH MEMPHIS BLUES AGANE
MONA1!1!!!11 OMG WTF TREID 2 TEL ME
2 STAY AWAY FROM TEH TRANE LIEN
SHE!!!!1 LOL SADE TAHT AL DA RALEROAD MEN
JUST DRINK UP UR BLOD LIEK WIEN
AN1!!1! OMG LOL I SADE O I DIDNT KNOW TAHT
BUT THAN AGANE THEYRE ONLY ONA IV3 M3T
AN HE JUST SMOK3D MAH 3YELIDS
AN PUNCH3D MAH O!!1!!11 OMG WTF LOL MMA CAN THIS RILLY
B DA END
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT DA MAMPHIS BLU3S AGANE
GRANDPA!11!!11! WTF LOL DEID LAST WEK
AND NOW H3S BUREID IN TEH ROX
BUT EV3RYBODY STIL TOKS ABOUT
HOW BADLY TH3Y WERA SHOKED
BUT1!!!!1! LOL ME I 3XPACT3D IT 2 HAP3N
I NU H3D LOST CONTROL
WH3N HA BUILT A FIER ON MANE STRET
AND SHOT IT FUL OF O11!!! WTF LOL MMA CAN THIS RILLY
B DA END
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT DA MEMPHIS BLU3S AGANE
NOW!11!11!! LOL TEH SENA2R CME DOWN HERE
SHOWNG 3VRYONE HIS GUN
HANDNG OUT FRE TIKETS
2 DA WADNG OF HIS SON
AN111!11! OMG LOL MA I N3ARLY GOT BUSTED
AN WUDNT IT B MAH LUK
2 GET CAUGHT WITHOUT A TIK3T
AND B DISCOVER3D BN3ATH A O!1!!! MMA CAN THIS RILLY
B DA 3ND
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT DA M3MPHIS BLUES AGANE
NOW!!1!1!1 OMG WTF LOL TEH PREACHER LOKAD SO BAFL3D
WHEN I ASKED HIM Y HE WIT TWANTY POUNDS OF HEADLIENS
STAPLED 2 HIS CHAST
BUT!1!1 OMG HE CURS3D ME WH3N I PROVED IT 2 HIM
TH3N I WHISPERED NOT AV3N U CAN U!1!1!!!! OMG SE UR
JUST LIEK ME
I HOP3 UR O1!!!!1 OMG LOL MMA CAN THIS RILLY B DA 3ND
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT TEH MAMPHIS BLUES AGANE
NOW111!!!1 WTF DA RANEMAN GAEV ME TWO CUR3S
THAN HA SADE JUMP RIGHT TEH!!!!1!1! OMG WTF LOL ONA
WAS TEXAS DA OTH3R WAS JUST RALEROAD GIN
AN!11!!! OMG LOL LIEK A FOL I MIEXD THEM
AN IT STRANGL3D UP MAH MIND
AN NOW PEOPL3 JUST GET UGLEIR
AN I HAEV NO SENSE OF O1!1!1!1! OMG LOL MMA CAN THIS
RILLY B DA 3ND
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT DA M3MPHIS BLUES AGANE
WHEN!1!! OMG LOL RUTHEI SAYS COMA SE HER
IN H3R HONKY-2NK LAGON
WH3R3 I CAN WATCH H3R WALTZ FOR FRE
NAATH HER PANMANIAN MON
AN!!!!!1 LOL I SAY AW COME ON U MUST KNOW ABOUT MAH
D3BUTANTE
AN!!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL SH3 SAYS UR DEBUTANT3 JUST
KNOWS WUT U NED
BUT I KNOW WUT U O!1!1 OMG WTF LOL MMA CAN THIS
RILLY B TEH AND
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT TEH MEMPHIS BLUAS AGANE
NOW!11! OMG LOL TEH BRIX LAY ON GRAND STRET
WHERA DA N3ON MADM3N CLIMB
TH3Y1!!!1 WTF LOL AL FAL THEIR SO P3RFECTLY
IT AL SEMS SO WEL TIEMD
AN1!!111 LOL HARA I SIT SO PATEINTLY
WATENG 2 FIND OUT WUT U HAEV 2 PAY 2 GAT OUT OF
GONG THROUGH AL THESE THNGS O1!111!!1 OMG MMA CAN
THIS RILLY B DA END
2 B STUK INSIED OF WIT TEH M3MPHIS BLUES
AGANE!!!1!!11 OMG LOL
With the Memphis blues again.