Celeste Pizza Party

Where I work I spend a lot of time listening to internet videos. I don't really get the visual aspect, but if the audio is entertaining it's all the same. Comedy is generally good for that. Music videos are good for that. Stunt videos usually aren't but sometimes the image I see in my head is better than the actual video anyways.

EbaumsWorld does a "Worst of 2006" segment where they highlight the stupidest videos they uncovered during the year. Based on the fact that they are intended to be stupid, I suspend my judgment for the time being.

I clicked on this one video, and it was an annoying white kid talking like a homie. I minimized the window and got back to work. He starts ranting about how young horney high schoolers should try fucking Celeste Pizzas. I thought, "It's a rant, stupid, but a rant." He continues about different toppings and different effects, how long to microwave it first, etc.

My attention to the video isn't absolute. Every now and then, something will require a bit more of my concentration to write software. During this time, I stop hearing the video. My wife will attest to my selective hearing I'm sure. After I was done concentrating, I realized that I wasn't hearing my video anymore. Thinking my video was over, I restored the window to queue up something else.

My video was still running, just the audio wasn't prominent. The white homie was sitting in center frame naked and fucking his pizza. Horror comsumed me. I closed my window and haven't been back since.

Normally, this is the part where I tell you the URL of this little gem, but I've already given you enough information and I'm not going to help you hurt yourselves anymore. I can't unlearn what I have learned, I must just accept and deal with the things that I know.