Rockin to the Oldies

First off, let me say, I am a try-sexual. In the effect that I will try pretty much anything once and most things more then once. Not so keen on vomiting or deification, but thats mostly because both make me vomit. Could I tweak my head, throw a few switchs and make it so it did turn me on? Probably, but I can't think of a good reason why I would want too. Not so sure about police women though. The idea of getting a baton shoved up my ass is a little intimidating. I don't think my asshole could handle that much. Now I'm drifting. Back on topic.

Anyways. My wife was reading in Cosmo that married men think about poker when they are having sex. And that they only think about sex the first time. I don't think thats true. Conveniently, I'm reading a book by Chuck Palanuik called "Choke" that touches on the same subject. Very good book, and movie. Strongly recommend both. In the book, the main character is a sexaholic. To prevent himself from cumming instantly every time he has sex, he thinks about aborted babies, dead puppies, rat feces or other disgusting things. I don't suffer that problem. My sex life is slightly more normal.

Most of the time, when I'm having sex, I pace myself to finish the same time as my wife. If I'm running behind, I think about another person in bed with us. Sometimes its a guy, maybe doing DP or fingercuffs. Usually its another female doing pretty much anything. Whatever works with whatever position we are currently in. When I'm running ahead I don't think of dead babies, mutilated kittens, rodent diarrhea or retarded gopher masturbation. I think about rocking chairs.

It's always the same rocking chair. Sometimes its black or white or wood grain or blue or whatever, but its always the same chair. The background is always the same too. It's a candlelit background but you can't see the candle. Just the yellowish-reddish hue of light. Sometimes it's rocking. Sometimes not. There's never anyone sitting in it though.

I started thinking about this today. What does the rocking chair symbolize? Apparently, it's the most boring thing I can think of. Which may or may not reflect my views in favor of the euthanization of the elderly. Or maybe I need to go sit in front of the Cracker Barrel and fuck an Amish chick in one of those rockers out front. Either way, if my heart doesn't explode within the next 15 years, I may find myself in a rather self-conflicting position.