God hates me.

In the immortal conversation between Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, "God hates me." "Hate him back"

Last night me and God reached a new understanding. The more you tell God to go fuck himself, the more shit gets fucked up.

Yesterday was a great day. Pay day. My personal favorite becuase it means I get money to get all the bill collectors off my back for another week. Work went well. I got my pay check at break. I was happy. I hung the last door frame in the building (out of a couple thousand) at 2:00pm exactly. 2:09pm my boss comes up and says today is your unlucky day. (I should have just killed him then). He handed me my second paycheck, shook my hand and told me to leave my screwgun in the office. Coincidentally I left my screwgun on the floor, kicked in the corner, 7 floors above the office. Fuck them. I had gotten laid off. Now most people would get pissed about this. I figured since I had three other job offers and I was taking a vaction next week to Gencon it was a good thing. I'd get paid by unemployment to go on vacation and then when I got back I could start at one of the three job offers I had. Well when I got home I called the three places. All three are shutting down. Not hiring anymore. Well that sucks, but I'll try again next week.

I stopped at the theater to see Bryan and ask a couple questions about a job I'm doin there. Saw a really nutz guy named Pat. I dont know Pat but from what I saw he is definately A.G. material. He was wearing a fruit hat like the chaquita banana girl and play hawaiian tunes on a guitar, dressed in an acupooco shirt. He was the sole highlight of my day.

To continue...

I got home got called to do another side job, running a roller for a couple hours. Rollers are the single most boring thing to possibly operate (except maybe elevators). They go about 1 mile an hour. Forward then backward then forward then backward. Its like watching Grover do his near far rant, only really boring and shitty and a lot lot slower. When I got done with the twenty passes I'd made in two hours I went home, played on the computer and waited for my wife to get home. When she came home she had brought with her the big lebanowski. A movie I'd been hoping to see since Bryan and Jimbob raved it up. We went to put Jadyn to bed and she noticed the floor was wet. So she started investigating. After removing everything from our main storage closet in Jadyn's room, we pulled off the secret pannel that leads to the water heater. The panal is made of drywall. When I removed it, it shattered becuase it was so covered with water and black mold that there was nothing left to it. The water heater had been leaking. Rotted the floor out and fell thru. Then it leaked a whole lot more. I am not a plumber. I can do a great many construction trade things but not plumbing. I know nothing about it. I did know that I need to turn the valve off. So I climbed under the trailer on the side near Jadyn's room. If any of you have ever been under a trailer you would know that they suck. There is about 8 inches of clearance under there. When I suck my stomach in my thickness is about 8 and a half inches. The place was infested with spider webs like something out of a cheesy B horror movie. I wedged my self thru there following the water pipe, getting covered with spiderwebs and holding my camping latern. I got to the opposite side of the trailer and still hadn't found it. At this point, God had been called just about everything I could think of. And then the lantern went out. So I thought of a few more things to call him. I wedged my way back to the first side of the trailer hitting my head on shit cuz my darksight hadn't kicked in yet. I went to look outside by where all the meteres are and saw one that looked close enough. It had pipes going to it. Found a valve on the side and shut it off. Went in the house, checked the water heater, still leaking. My brother in law is a plumber. Stacey called him and he said to release the valve near the bottom to empty it out now that I had the water shut off. I released the valve. The water not being shut off was under a great deal of pressure. It hit the floor at suck an angle that it bounced up at me. So I got to take a cold shower at a firemens hose of pressure until I could get my hands back in there to shut the valve off. I went back to the meters, turned the gas back on, and went back to searching the house for other meters. I found a little tiny one that I had never noticed before becuase its right behind where all my sunflowers come up every year. I tore apart my sunflowers, removed the side paneling and found a water pipe and a faucet type valve, turned it off and went back in the house. The water had stopped leaking. Thank God. I needed to calm down. I only have one cd in my entire collection that calms me down. All the rest either piss me off, make me break things, or make me be nutz (mostly the latter). So I put Huey Lewis and the News in my big fancy stereo setup. Turned it on. Now it's been a while since I listend to Huey but I remembered there being a little bit of bass, not much but something. So I turned it up a little only to hear crack crack fizz shhhhsit akgjklsd. A well know sound from when I used to fix stereos for people. It meant that somehow my speakers had been blow out. FUCK YOU GOD! You know God hates you when you can't even listen to Huey Lewis with out Him fucking your shit right up. AND FUCK MY BOSS! for saying this was my unlucky day.

The good news in all this is that I will still be going to gencon on wednesday. I am trooper. the bad news... well I can't flush my fucking toilets for god knows how long. This is gonna suck.