Sunday, June 19, 2005

Top 10 Sex Games: Number 9

On a trip to the bank...

Couch: "Can you deposit this?"

Teller: "Sure can."

Jadyn: "Did you know today's my birthday? I'm five years old. I had a humpty dumpty birthday."

Teller: "Wow, well you know what that means. It means you get two suckers instead of just one."

Jadyn: "COOOL!"

Teller: "You pick two and give the other two to your sister."

Jadyn: "I want the blue one and the red one. Trinity can have the purple one and the green one."

Teller: "I had a feeling you'd take those two."

Jadyn: "Ya, cuz red and blue are boy colors and purple is for boys who wish they were girls."

Immediate stiffled laughter from the tellers and the rest of the bank patrons....

Couch: "Where did you learn that squirelly?"

Jadyn: "Mommy told me that."

Couch: "The same mommy that let you paint you finger and toe nails last night while I was gone?"

Jadyn: "Yup."

Couch: "sigh..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

#9: Strip Chess

Players: 2

Only slightly more interesting the checkers, chess rounds off the list at number 9. Strip chess's big advantage is that combines my two favorite ingrediants into a sex game. Nudity and alcohol.

Setup: The chess board is set up as normal. The amount of clothing is irrelevant as most people get drunk enough by the end that they end up naked anyways.

Rules: Game play is as normal chess. Everytime one of you pawns are taken you can chose to lose either a piece of clothing or take a shot. Anytime one of the other piece's is taken you must do both. If you run out of clothes you take two shots. If you lose your queen, then your opponent has you on your knees. Literally. For one full minute, you must perform oral sex on your opponent while on your knees. Everytime you are checked, your opponent can have you fondle a body part of his/her choosing for up to one minute.

Winning: Checkmate decides the winner, who recieves the sexual favor of his choice. Though you might want to discuss limits before hand if you actually have such things.