Top 50 Video Games: Number 3

#3: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
System: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Publisher: Nintendo
Released: 1992
Players: 1

Not sure what I'm trying to portray here. But SNES Zelda is really damn good.

Once in a while a game comes along that brings everything together: it plays great, it looks great, it sounds great, it's fun and challenging. The Super Nintendo Zelda entry was such a game. Ok, so the story's a lame twist on the old "Oh shit, Zelda's kidnapped/sleeping/been turned to stone/fell down the well/eaten some bad salsa" theme that most Zelda games have. You still play Link, the little guy with the green pointy hat who has to rescue her and kick Ganon's ass through his skull. That's what Zelda games are about.

As in every Zelda game, you find yourself going from dungeon to dungeon solving puzzles, defeating bosses and finding a cool new toy in each dungeon. When you have a formula that works you don't fuck with it, you perfect it. This game has some of the most well balanced gameplay I've ever seen. Everything is just the right amount of challenge. It never gets to the point where I stuff the game down the garbage disposal. The game's world is well designed and creative. The game also has a dark world that acts as a mirror to the normal world with a few differences. Much of your time is spent travelling between the two. It works kind of like the Astral plane for all you D&D players out there.

A Link to the Past is great for showing you places you cannot get to until later. This is one such secret, hidden place.

A Link to the Past was, until recently, the last great Zelda game. Ocarina of Time for the N64 was, much like the system it is played on, a shitpile of shitty shit. Zelda in 3d just didn't do it for me. It didn't look good. It was awkward. It wasn't fun. Zelda was one of the main reasons I bought an N64 and it sucked; I believe I reacted like Darth Vader in Episode 3 when I realized this ("NOOOOOOOOO!") And shit started blowing up all around me and the emperor was all "Yeah, bitch." Anyhoo, game developers today could learn a thing or two playing A Link to the Past, maybe they'd start churning out some good, thoughtful, fun games rather than the bloated, retarded, eye-candy filled crap they're making these days. They make sequels and they base things on movie licenses which means there's a built-in fanbase so it's ok to make the game shitty. I loved Lord of the Rings, but I swear to christ they made 20 games based on it, and some of them are as painful as pulling shards of broken glass out of your asshole. "Look it's Frodo! I love FRODO! Here's my $50!" Ugh.

You may have noticed that I'm spending half of my time here not talking about Zelda. There are two reasons: 1) I'm in a ranting mood and 2) Anyone who has read up to this point (FUCK YOU everyone else) knows about Zelda already. SNES Zelda is just like the original NES game, with a lot more depth and detail. It's fucking awesome. Like puzzles? Like action? Like Swords? Like Video Games? You should play this one. You can play it for the Gameboy Advance. You can walk into the living room RIGHT NOW and pop the game into your Super Nintendo and play the fucker because I let you borrow it 10 months ago and if you die without playing A Link to the Past you will have missed out on LIFE. Yes, I'm talking to YOU. I introduced you to those games you're playing and now I'm introducing you to another one. I know what people like. I am life and unlife. I am beginning and end. I am all.

"And whosoever pulleth out this sword...."

Speaking of the GBA, that is where you can find a true sequel to this game. Forget Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask and Windwaker. Pick up Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap. It plays pretty much like A Link to the Past meets Honey I Shrunk the Kids without Rick Moranis. The point of this is that A Link to the Past is a great, fun game. Everyone who likes gaming should give it a go if the opportunity presents itself. I mean, it's #3 here. I've proven that I know my stuff and if you disagree with me, it is because you are wrong. Once you realize this simple truth, it'll all work out. Anyways, I cannot express to you how much I love this game. Stand. Sit. Kneel. Pray.