Lone Wolf: Mindblast Edition

We finally get to use Mindblast, even if it's only as a parlor trick. It's gonna be good.

Looking directly into the sailor's eyes, you concentrate your Mindblast at his open hand. Suddenly the man falls backwards from his chair, clutching his hand as if he had just picked up a red-hot coal. When you explain what has happened to him, he looks at you in amazement.

Turn to 268.

Wait....what? We've been storing up all of our mental energies so we could mindblast this guy's hand? Let me make a few adjustments to the above passage for us....

Looking directly into the sailor's eyes, you concentrate your Mindblast at his brain. Suddenly the man falls backwards from his chair and begins to scream. Staring at you with panicked, terrified eyes he shouts "What's happening to me? Dear god what are you doing to me?" The man clutches his head and continues to howl with pain and fear. The screams are abruptly silenced by a sickening, wet popping sound. The walls, table and your Kai master cloak are now coverted in blood, brain and little bits of skull. You imagine the effect would have been similar had there been a hand grenade inside the man's skull.

Much better.

'You are indeed a Kai Lord,' says the sailor, but the astonishment on his face quickly changes to an unpleasant sneer.

'Or should I say you were!'

Sweet jesus it's alive! It's The Humongous! Look at that codpiece! Let me see if I can find some more appropriate pictures.

Holy genitals! These pirates are mencaing indeed!

It's alive! By the nine hells, run!

As he speaks, a door crashes open behind you and you turn to see three harbour thugs advancing towards you. Each is armed with a scimitar and codpiece. You have no choice but to fight all three as one enemy.

Harbour Thug, David Bowie and Couch's Codpiece: COMBAT SKILL 16 ENDURANCE 25

You may evade after two rounds of combat by running through a side door. Turn to 125.

If you win this combat, turn to 333.

Evade? Fuck that. Between our Mindblast (finally) and our short sword of questionable origin our combat skill is 17, Endurance 29. I believe this is the first time we're on the positive side of the combat skill table, with a cool +1. Our Cheeseburger is fight!

- I start off with a 9. We are unable or unwilling to stop laughing at David Bowie's hair and testicular area. He takes 12 humiliation damage. His cohorts are laughing as well. We take no damage. Harbour Thug, David Bowie and Couch's Codpiece: ENDURANCE 13. Cheeseburger: ENDURANCE 29.

- It's a 7. We stab him in the face with our short sword for 10 damage. He also stabs us in the face, but it turns out his weapon is actually one of those cheap plastic scimitars from the dollar store you had when you dressed up like a pirate for Halloween that one year. We take 1 damage. Harbour Thug, David Bowie and Couch's Codpiece: ENDURANCE 3. Cheeseburger: ENDURANCE 28.

- I roll a 1. David Bowie begins singing that Magic Dance song from Labyrinth, and the area is suddenly overrun by dancing muppets. Everyone in the area takes damage, this is not unlike setting off a bomb in the room. We take 5 damage. Harbour Thug, David Bowie and Couch's Codpiece are defeated. Cheeseburger endurance: 23.

The sailor who claimed to be First Mate Ronan seems to have escaped during the fight. You quickly search the bodies of the harbour thugs, but find nothing of value. However, you do notice that each of them has a tattoo of a serpent on their left wrist. Whoever sent them to kill you must already know of the importance of your quest.

You leave the tavern by the side door and discover the dead body of a sailor lying beneath some stairs. Inside the collar of his bloodstained jacket is a tag bearing the name 'Ronan'. This must be the real Ronan. He has been murdered. You cover the body and turn towards the quay, where the Green Sceptre is anchored about three hundred yards from the harbour wall.

If you wish to use one of the many small boats or coracles that are roped to the quayside, turn to 300.

If you wish to hunt down the impostor who pretended to be Ronan, turn to 67.

Decision making time! Do we get to our boat or chase down the impostor?