I can run like Jimbob too...

As some of you know, I have some like-magic abilities. They're not really magical. They're like-magical. Kind of like psionics but I'm not a psion. I'm only a like-magic. Most people think I'm full of shit, but I've gotten to show off some of them to some of my biggest critics over the past year so believe it or not.

One of these like-magic abilities is being able to see in the dark or lowlight situations. I don't really consider this a like-magical ability as anyone who knows much about vitamins and shit would know that regular overdosing on vitamin E grants this as one of its side effects. Being as I like to overdose on pretty much anything, vitamin E being no exception, it comes as little surprise to me that I can see with out a whole lot of light. I'm not really sure why I like overdosing so much. I think its because I like seeing how long it takes me to "fix" myself. (another one of my like-magic abilities)

I've regularly put my lowlight vision to the test and as Mr. Nuts can confirm, I can see very well with out much light. Well tonight I had the opportunity to test it a little further.

After drinking several mixed drinks and various other alcoholic things I found in the fridge, Stace asked me to run to the store for her fix. Being that it was 9:30 at night I decided this was a great opportunity to see if I could still see in the dark while drunk. I threw on my tennis shoes. And ran out the door. Then I stumbled back in

okay.... I'm back... Just had some really great living room sex... Nothing like a good interruption every now and then. (this is why I love married life)

Then I stumbled back in because I had realized that being a Sunday Vinny's was probably closed. So I found the number in the book and called them up. They're open till ten on Sundays for anyone who needs a fix on a Sunday night. Just thought I'd letcha all know that.

Well I ran back outside. Down the street. Turned on to the main drag, and proceeded o run down it. Metcalf (the main drag) does not have street lights. So this is where I would put it to the test. Success. I can still see in the dark when I'm partially inebriated. However, Metcalf has a lot more traffic so you can't just run down the middle of the road like I did on the street that I live on. So... I moved to the shoulder of the road. Now while I may have been able to see in the dark about 20 Ft ahead of me at any time, my brain was far too gone to process things in that short amount of time. At a walk, I can cover 20ft in just under 7 steps. At a run, its about 4. Trying to respond to something in 4 steps when you drunk is damn near impossible. This includes stationary things. Such as... MAILBOXES. Yup that's right. I ran into a mailbox. But that's not the worst of it. After catching my breath from running at a high speed jog into the first one, I continued to run in the direction of Vinny's. Then I hit another mailbox. Second verse same as the first. Till I ran into the third one. Now mind you, I had managed to miss running into several mailboxes inbetween all of these. But the third one left a mark. It took me a little bit to come back from that one. After that I walked the rest of the way. Got Stace her fix with my $5.29, all American because Vinny's doesn't take none of that Canadian shit, not even nickels. And walked my drunk ass back home. I never fell down. Or at least not without catching myself first. So I guess I can't run like Jimbob after all.