"Toot! Toot!" Goes the train

Well, since I have now come home from my 67-day trip to Europe, I can finally contribute a few things to this blog. And the first thing I want to rant about is the Italian train system. And it goes a little something like this:My trip was winding down and I had to get back to Paris, France. I was in Corfu, Greece and decided that it was about time to make my journey back. I hop on an overnight ferry that leaves at 11:30pm and it arrived in Bari, Italy at 8:30am.

Now, if you have ever been in Europe, you know that using the trains and getting around is fairly simple. You go up, purchase your ticket (and any connecting tickets if you need to switch trains) and you get on the train. You might even have purchased a special ticket that lasts you two months and can be used an unlimited amount of times during that period. This was my case. I bought the special pass and used it a lot. If you knew a train was going to be fairly packed, you could book a reservation with your special pass so that you were guaranteed a seat. There would be a small fee (usually $5) and you would have your seat.

So I am sitting in Bari at 8:30am and I decide that I am going to get a reservation for an overnight train to Milan, Italy. Overnight trains are great. You pay a little extra and you get a bed to sleep in during the trip. But every seat/bed on the overnight train was booked. No big deal there, nothing I can do about the fact that I failed to realize it was an Italian holiday and everyone was going on vacations and such. So instead I decide to take a day train to Milan and then take a night train from Milan to Paris. At this moment I now realize it is an Italian holiday, I want to book the overnight to Paris now that I have the chance. And this moment is also where the shitty service starts.

The lady would not let me get the reservation. She was telling me I should just get it in Milan because it would be easier and better for me. I know for a fact that the best thing for me is to get the reservation for the overnight right now in Bari. So we went back and forth in our argument; me telling her what is really good for me, and her correcting me. I felt as if I was in line to get some soup and I just happened to come on the day the Soup Nazi was working “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” Defeated in this battle, I got on the train from Bari to Milan knowing that I will not arrive until about 11:45pm.

The train ride there was nice because I snuck into 1st class and got a bigger seat and seclusion from screaming babies. We arrived in Milan the time we were expected to, 11:45pm at night and now I had to hurry to get my reservation on the overnight train because it left at 12:10am. So I hustle my ass to the ticket booth to find that all of them were closed. EVERY SINGLE ONE! There is a train still scheduled to leave and all the booths are closed. So, since I have this special pass that usually lets me on trains without a ticket (this is the ticket) I figured I would just get on the train and not worry about a bed. Well, they wouldn’t let me on because all the beds were full and there was no regular seating on this train. So I was stuck in Milan for the night. No big deal, I was in Milan earlier in my trip and enjoyed it and knew of some places to stay.

I calmed my anger down at the train station and figured I could get a bed at a hostel or hotel and just take a train in the morning to Paris. Problem solved; or so I thought. A new problem arose. Every place I called to sleep was booked for the night because of this damn Italian holiday. Now, you might think to yourself “he only called a few places he knew of and they were booked,” but doing so would make you incorrect. I had a travel guide with a list of about 20+ hotels and hostels and every place I called was full for the night. So it was finally time for me to do what I said I was going to do at some point in this trip; and that is sleep in a train station.

It took some time to search for a nice location to spread out and sleep, but I finally came across the waiting room that was full of wooden benches. Upon closer inspection, these wooden benches were actually old church pews. AWESOME! I get to sleep on something that was once in the house of god, so naturally I felt safer. Finding a nice spot away from everyone else in this room (since others were suffering my own fate), I tried to get comfortable and laid down on the pew. About 15 minutes later, as I was just entering sleep, a felt a tap of a nightstick in my side, and looked to find an Italian police officer and his drug dog looking down at me. He said something to me in Italian, and my natural response as someone who does not know the language replied with “parlo no italiano, parla inglesi?” which means, “I speak no Italian, speak English?” Unfortunately he did not, but he did communicate what he wanted. He reached down and grabbed my ankle and moved it so my feet were now on the floor. Apparently I was not allowed to lie down on this pew. So, I must sleep sitting up. This did not work and I spent the next 6 hours trying to sleep in this uncomfortable pew. Halfway through this time period, I got up to go sleep outside on a park bench or something, but they had locked everyone in this room until morning. Good to know they were looking out for our safety.

Morning arrives and I go to book the train to Paris. No luck, all full. So I try to book ANY train to Paris. No luck, ALL FULL! Since Paris is an 8 hour train ride, I do not want to get on the train (which I could have with my 2 month pass) and be forced to stand the entire way. So, by this time I am fed up with Italy and just want to get the hell out of the damn country. So being spontaneous, I book a random train into France. It just happened to be going to Nice. I always wanted to see Nice and didn’t get a chance earlier in my trip. Nice was nice (it had to be said). And once in France, all my troubles went away. I finally got to eat a nice meal and I was able to book an overnight from Nice to Paris. Got to Paris, finally got a real bed and a shower (first one in 72 hours). I hated Paris the first time I visited it, but now it was the greatest thing in the world.

So all of this was due to the fact that some Italian lady was lazy and didn’t want to do her job, and that was get me my reservation when I asked for it. So I realized a few things:
- Italian trains suck
- I need to learn Italian
- 4 hours of sleep in a 72 hour period makes for a sad Bryan
- I now realize why I never attended church