The Verducci Tales: Billy Bob (Part II)

Well, Billy Bob was raised up real proper out there in the swamps. He learned how to wrestle alligators, make moonshine, an how to make stuff out of garbage. The Hatchets didn't live too far from the Gulf of Mexico. It was only a few mile ride thru the swamps. So every once an awhile, they'd all hope on there pontunny boat that they had made from the wing of a downed airplane and the motor of an old '57 chevy (which, coincidentally, once belonged to a fellar named Johnathon L. Perkins III), and they'd head on down to the coastline to gather rubbish that had washed up on shore. I don't exactly know what they did with the rubbish, I never asked. It wasn't till many years later that I met the esteemed southern family of the Hatchets.

Anyways... One day, when Billy Bob was about 8 years old, he found hisself an ole radio shack computer that had washed up on shore. The thing was beat. It had been thrown out for a reason and swimming in the Gulf hadn't done it any more favors. Well, Billy Bob had never seen one of these before, so he took it home. He took it apart. He put it back together. He took it apart again. He put it back together again. After about 3 sleepless days of this, he put it together for the final time and plugged it into a homemade generater ran off from moonshine. It worked. Billy Bob just stood there and luaghed and drooled at the same time. Ole Jed had seen one before on his TV and immediatly recognized Billy Bob for one of them savanty kids that was on that fat black lady's show all the time. After a dinner conversation with Ma and Pa, they all went into town to make a phone call to the Oprah show. Ole Jed and the Hatchets were flewn out to Chicago the next week and were all part of a very heartfelt (or so I'm told) episode of "Character Journeys."

After that, it seemed like everyone wanted a peice of the action. The family appeared on half a dozen talk shows over the next year. Eventually, Billy Bob even got some recognition from some more serious folks. The CIA to be exact. They set him up with some computers and not only did he figure out how to assemble them in no time, he also hacked into the CIA's mainframe. A task not easily accomplished from what I understand, and even less so when done by someone with almost zero computer knowledge. Needless to say, by the age of 11, Billy Bob had gained himself a prominet career and a lifetime of schooling at some prestigeous school out in Califonia.

to be continued...