The Psychosis of Michael Beard (p3)

I got the results back from my brother today. He sounded unsure and rather concerned when he called me and told me he'd fax them to me. He wanted to know as much about the guy as I could tell him, which was practically nothing. I thought it odd at the time but now I know why. The files he found in the CIA database were odd to say the least. It was one page. Where there should have been a picture of the man all that was there was a picture of cartoonish cat head with an evil grin. The page seemed to be written in pig latin and said the following:

`Atwhay ortsay ofway eoplepay ivelay aboutway erehay?'
`Inway atthay irectionday,' ethay Atcay aidsay, avingway itsway ightray awpay oundray, `iveslay away Atterhay: andway inway atthay irectionday,' avingway ethay otherway awpay, `iveslay away Archmay Arehay. Isitvay eitherway ouyay ikelay: ey'rethay othbay admay.'
`Utbay Iway on'tday antway otay ogay amongway admay eoplepay,' Aliceway emarkedray.
`Ohway, ouyay an'tcay elphay atthay,' aidsay ethay Atcay: `e'reway allway admay erehay. I'mway admay. Ou'reyay admay.'
`Owhay oday ouyay owknay I'mway admay?' aidsay Aliceway.
`Ouyay ustmay ebay,' aidsay ethay Atcay, `orway ouyay ouldn'tway avehay omecay erehay.'
Aliceway idn'tday inkthay atthay ovedpray itway atway allway; oweverhay, eshay entway onway `Andway owhay oday ouyay owknay atthay ou'reyay admay?'
`Otay eginbay ithway,' aidsay ethay Atcay, `away og'sday otnay admay. Ouyay antgray atthay?'
`Iway upposesay osay,' aidsay Aliceway.
`Ellway, enthay,' ethay Atcay entway onway, `ouyay eesay, away ogday owlsgray enwhay it'sway angryway, andway agsway itsway ailtay enwhay it'sway easedplay. Ownay Iway owlgray enwhay I'mway easedplay, andway agway ymay ailtay enwhay I'mway angryway. Ereforethay I'mway admay.'
`Iway allcay itway urringpay, otnay owlinggray,' aidsay Aliceway.
`Allcay itway atwhay ouyay ikelay,' aidsay ethay Atcay.

What the hell does this mean? And how does someone infilitrate the CIA's files just to replace them with rediculous nonsense? Why would someone even take the time to do so in the first place? This is it. I am done with this guy. None of the other doctors I asked to take him on have returned my call. It's been over a week now. What in the hell is going on? I meet with him in a few days, if noone has returned my calls by then he is just going to have to find someone else on his own. I'm not cut out for this type of craziness. Hopefully he will let me record the conversation so that I can give it whoever takes over.

~A.R.S.