Rants from the Alright Guys: Two FUCK YOU's and an apology to an entire nation.

First off, I'd like to send a big FUCK YOU to a certain Christian organization that made an appearance at the Bologna fest this year. Most of the time a Christian group, rents a spot in a parade, they do so with the intention of passing out little pamphlets that are intended to save your soul. We've all seen them. It's something I've just come to expect and for the most part they are harmless anyways. The group that's getting the FUCK YOU however, crossed the line of harmless. Here's some pics:

The outside cover, so innocent, so fun, so friendly.

Surprise! Jesus was really a bloody mess and we want you all to know this just in case you want to be a vampire when you grow up. After all,he did say, "Drink my blood and you will live forever."

As you can see, this is a very graphic representation of Jesus getting crucified. If this had been handed to me, I would have shrugged, crumpled it up, and forgotten about it. But it wasn't. It was handed to my 5 year old son. Now I show my son a lot of graphic shit, but he's my son. I don't let other people's kids watch R rated horror flicks with me. It's not my right. There is a reason that R-rated shit requires a parent or guardian to go with you. And if the parent wants their kid to see that shit, that's their choice. However, it is not the choice of a bunch of banner waving Christian asswipes to show this shit to little kids. Even my mom who is the biggest bible thumper I know thought it was a very distasteful choice. Luckily I know one of the people who was in charge of organizing the parade so, I will be tracking these assfuckers down and introducing them to my crowbar, anal style.

Second, I'd like to give a slightly smaller FUCK YOU out to Fifth Third Bank. They preapproved me for an awesome 7.89% interest rate on a '99. They also told me that going with a newer vehicle would only lower the interest rate. So I bought a '00 and they upped the rate to 10 point something percent. Not sure whose fault it was or where the miscommunication lied, (possibly even me) but until I figured it out they are getting a FUCK YOU, just for the hell of it.

Lastly, I'd like to send out an apology to the entire nation of Africa. My mom goes on mission trips there and somehow in her crazy head got the idea that it would be fun to get our family pictures taken in authentic African garb that she had bought while she was there this past winter. Yup that's right, a bunch of honky white folk dressed up as Africans. I'm not a racist person, really. And I want to say I'm sorry to all of the Africans out there because I feel like I have partaken in an event that was an insult to all of you. If you don't think it was an insult just check out the pics. Just so you know though, I wouldn't have participated in this event if I hadn't been coerced in a way that only a wife or girlfriend can do. Not mentioning any names, but it was an evil evil evil thing to force me into doing.