My weird day

"Go ahead daddy! Stick something up my butt!" cried 4yr old Jadyn while standing on top of a 50 gallon tote filled with yet-to-be-wrapped Christmas toys. "Um, I'm going to have to pass on that Squirrelly, but it will probably make a good quote." replied his dad, placing his head into his hands. Jadyn responded, "Ok then, I'm going to put a hockey stick up my butt then," letting the rest of his little world know exactly what he thought of the NHL strike.

This is my life. Weird things happen everyday. If they didn't, I'd never have anything to write about on here and it'd be like all the other boring blogs about boring things. For example...

I got my car fixed. Finally. It has only been sitting in my driveway for about 4 months now. Why? I don't know. I just didn't feel like fixing it. Anyways, I got it back today. When I picked it up, it was out of gas, out of power steering fluid, low on brake fluid, and low on transmission fluid. So I went to Meijer's Gas Station. They had the gas. They had the brake fluid. Hell, they even had the power steering fluid. But, transmission fluid, they were plum out. So I went into Meijer's main store and began my search. Since I needed a 30amp fuse as well, I figured I'd pick one up too.

While searching for the necessary ingredients to bring my '92 Buick Lesabre back up to it usual 5-cylinder self (the only one of its kind and man does it sound like shit), a strange man came into the aisle mumbling in a foreign language. Finally, he faced me and started a strangely hypnotic conversation with me about transmission fluid. I should mention that not only did he have an extreme French-Canadian accent, but he also stuttered heavily. While individually neither of these things would have bothered me in the least, together they were strange and bizarre. See, I spent most of my summers growing up in Canada, so I'm pretty used to the accent. And one of my good friends thru high school had a fucked up lip or something that gave him a real bad stutter, so I was used to that as well.

I know practically nothing about cars. Yet this strange man was having an entire conversation with about them, and what's even weirder is that it was a two-way conversation. I don't know what he said but I'll get to that in a minute.

Anyways, I check out and go out to the parking lot to put the tranny fluid into my car. After about 5 minutes of searching, I come to the realization that I have no idea where I parked. I have a photographic memory so forgetting something like that is unusual. So, I tried to recall which end of Meijer's I had come into. No luck. Infact, I couldn't remember anything that had happened upto 15 minutes before my conversation with Elmer Fudd. Nothing. My mind was a complete blank. I couldn't and still can't remember what the guy even said to me. I know it was about cars, but that's it. It's not even fuzzy memories, they just aren't there. Shit... Now I can't remember what I was gonna write. Anyways the moral of this story is don't talk to strange people with thick stuttering accents or they'll hypnotise you and make you believe your a chicken or something like that.

Oh, btw. I finally found my car. By walking up and down every row in the Meijer's parking lot. I started on the south end. I found it almost all the way at the north side of the parking lot.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh SHIT! Trinity's in the bathtub!" ~Jadyn