Idols is the DEVIL!
Yesterday I was bored. I get bored all the time and upon rare occasions, I do something about it. So after some phone calls with a personal friend of my dad's (who works for Michigan Cat), me and him went down to Ford Field in Detroit. I suppose I could write about how I pissed in one of the urinals in the Lions' locker room or how I held a football for my dad to kick thru the field goal there or how I took a cat nap on top of the big blue lion on the 50 yard line. But I'm not a big football fan. And I don't really like the Lions. I'd just never been there before and since our company was originally supposed to do the underground work there, I was curious what the place looked like now that it was complete.
A Ron Zook sees the singing devil for the first time. I stood there. Motionless. Not sure of what to do. If I covered my ears, he might say something important. If I ran away, he might kill them all in there frozen states. My eyes darted from one person to the next. All the same. All frozen zombies unsure of what they were subliminily being told in those evil sounds. I decided to take mine and there fate in hand and do something about it. I rushed to the end table, grabbed the TV remote and hit mute. I had saved them. They shook like people coming to after passing out cold from a sudden blow to the head. When they realized what had happened, they were furious. But to my surprise it was not at the black man. It was at me. They had wanted to listen to his demonic warbling. They loved it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That was the first and only time I have witnessed what is known as American Idol. Many years ago, I think when I was about 12 or 13, I realized that the only way I would ever become a rock star would be with an experimental band. You know, one of the ones that plays on ceiling fans and slams washing machines with a pitchfork and a dead rotting animal corpse to get that "perfect sound." I realized this and gave up my dreams of being adored by millions of women. Of getting high on heroin every night. Of impregnating groupies across the world. Of lawsuits and court battles over offensive lyrics. And finally of eventually flushing my career down the toilet because of my ever growing drug addiction.
On the way home, we stopped at his girlfriend's house. From the living room was coming an awful howling noise. Being the curious sort that I am, I decided to investigate. I went in expecting to find two cats fucking on the floor but I was wrong. I couldn't have been more wrong.
What I saw next both shocked and horrified me. There was a black man in her living room. The guy looked like he had been beat around the face with a baseball bat. His tattered afro only making it seem worse then it was. Out of his mouth bellowed sounds similar to nails on a chalk board and catterwowls. Oddly enough, no one was doing anything about it. They just sat there entranced like mindless zombies with glazed looks and gaping mouths. It was a strange site to behold.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!", I yelled.
"Don't you see what's going on here?," I asked inquisitively. I shook my head and walked away. A lone samurai against the forces of darkness. My bushido code no longer followed by the rest of mankind. Where would I go? What would I become? I was no longer a hero, and where was the honor in that?
Many of these "kids" are as old as I am now. They still have those dreams. And while I would probably find some sadistic glee in watching those dreams get smashed like a fucking television with Dan Aykroyd's head thru it, it doesn't interest me. Mostly because there is plenty of really bad music on the radio. It is a plague that has swept the entire nation's radio broadcasting. I am forced to listen to it if I want to hear the good music that has been lumped in with it. Either that or spend a couple hundred on a mp3 player for my car. Why would I possibly want to subject my eyes to the same terrors that my ears are forced to deal with on a daily basis? Beats me but millions of dumb fucking American were watching last night doing just that. The scary thing is that someone at some point, probably in some karaoke bar/dive, told these people that they were good and should try out for this fucking show.
The world is a freighting place people. Be warned. Be watchful. And be careful.
posted by
@ 12:01 AM
|
10 Comments:
This is the only part of Idol I watch. This is the fun part where the bad people come in, believe they can sing and the record people crush them like eggshells. Then they wander off crying and confused because they were led by false hope all their lives. It's nice when a good one comes through though and kindof cleans your brain a bit.
Truthfully, I honestly think this is one of the few ways to get actual talent into the industry. Far too often the industry chases the "look" rather than the sound. You get crap like Hillary Duff, Ashlee Simpson, and god help us Britney Spears. The people that advance on Idol can seem to actually sing, although they usually end up with a pop genre which I can't really stand. I'd like to see a "Rock" or "Grunge" Idol. To date, I've never listened to the winners of the show. Talented singers they may be, but always they end up singing the same old garbage as Britney anyways.
Up until they turn the control over to america the show is interesting. Then it's stupid. All those poeple are going to get jobs who make it to the last twelve. Why bother and see the outcome?
the guy after the yodeler was a haevy metal guy. i think he sang cryin' by aerosmith. i only saw about a minute of that though. he wasnt bad but he wasnt exactly good either. i dont know if he made it on or not.
the all-popular "look" doesnt just affect mainstream pop. look at marylin manson, kiss, ozzy, hell even as simple as kurt kobain. every type of music seems to have a look that goes with it. and not always but often it seems the record companies prefer the "look" over actual talent. sometimes musicians have both. often its only one or the other. its just that mainstream pop rock is the most listened to so it's look gets the most attention.
Yeah, that guy did make it, but I didn't think he was that great either.
im glad the guy made it but only becuase he isnt pop. id love to see someone up there thrashing out hardcore acid/death metal songs. maybe theyd actually get radio play then. HA HA HA
i wish i could have found a picture of g.dubya with his mouth agape like that. ron zook does it pretty well though.
All I can really say is that shit like this is a big part of the reason I don't have cable or satellite TV. The deepest circle of hell is reserved for reality tv fans. My hatred for this phenomena is pure and deep.
fucking blogger... i was just bitching about people centering there bulk text only to come and see that half of one of my posts was centered. AAAHHH... at least blogger is working today... yesterday it was a heaping pile of shit.
detroit...you don't say. if all goes as planned i'll be calling the motoe city home sometime this spring. know any good places to get mediterrian food?
when is blogger not acting like a big heaping pile of shit? i use to have all sort of nifty buttons to edit text. then one day poof. gone never to be seen again. i emailed the blogger techies and they claimed it was my browser. umm...my browser hasn't changed and i USE to have them. oh well, you get what you pay for.
thanks for the link. i'm correcting your name as i type this. my eyes tend to play tricks on me in the middle of the night which is when i usually do all my blogging.
med food? theres quite a few good places in detroit. up here in port huron is rather lacking though. welcome to the motown either way!!
I don't have a tv now, I just wait for certain shows to come out on DVD and play it on my notebook. If I hear some good buzz about a new program I wait until it's out on DVD and rent it.
Ahhh, thank goodness for DVD's.
Post a Comment
<< Home