Bitch got horns

Well here I am. Enjoying my only day off till Christmas. I was supposed to get tommarrow off, but I-96 got shut down due to snow. So I got to stay in town and have my day off taken from me. Bleh. But I love my job. It's hard work, but it pays well. Most importantly, it leaves me with little time to do much else. A feature I've found particularily useful lately. Which is why I'm working two other jobs in addition to it. Fuck sleep. Sleep is for sissies. That's what caffiene is for. Nothing like keeping you heart pumping at 200 beats per minute 24-7. Almost as good as adrenaline but not quite. Closer to exctasy I suppose.

Anyways... I was driving home last night and I saw something a little disturbing. A very sick furry. Furries are people who like to have sex with humanoid animals. Sexy foxes and cats and things like that. I think I had a furry artist once draw a furry picture of me as a wombat. I'm not a furry though. And I'm even less sexy as a wombat. Possibly even a little less hairy as well. Hard to say. I don't have anything against furries. God knows I've done my share of twisted kinky shit in my lifetime.

Something a furry would find HOT!!!

Now the problem with fucking animals comes into play with the actual design of most animals. Animals are survivors. They come into this world already prepared to beat the shit out of anything that would like to eat them. They have to. Some people share their mentality, but rarely are equipped with fangs, claws, poison stingers, boney wombat butts, or warm furry coats. These things, while potentally dangerous, are rarely shown in furry pics, and when they are they are done so with an erotic appeal to them. Which probably isnt too much of a suprise being that vampirism is a popular fetish and many men like having claw marks left in there backs. But one thing I've never seen a fetish for is being gored. I've never seen furry pics of horned animals like texas longhorns, or rhinos, or narwhales. I once saw one of a unicorn, but thats a mythical creature and more popular with women. It was probably drawn for some girl-on-girl furry action but who knows. Maybe she got horn-fucked. People are weird. Anyways, as I'm driving into the hunting obsessed hickville of Port Huron Wednesday night, I pass a pickup with the following sticker in its window.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I mean for Christ's sake people. That's one sick furry. The bitch got horns! Not sexy horns. Not possibly-usable-as-a-improvised-sex-toy horns. Bitch got fucking-gore-your-ass-to-the-ground horns. I've heard the expression "hunting tails" or "hunting white tails" before. It's frequently used to refer to the male art of being a "playa." But this is a new take on it. Hell, bitch don't even got a fucking tail. Just breasts, long legs, a big nose, and a big pair of fucking-gore-your-ass-to-the-ground horns.

So, in short, if you see someone with one of these stickers, stay away from them. They are fucked in the head. Seriously disturbed people. And if its a female driver be especially warned as she probably wants to stick a wedge in you.