The World Stops At Primus

Primate - original name of primus
howdy once again folks. i read the paper sunday. (yes, i CAN read). well actually i only read the best buy add cuz the black and white makes me dizzy. that and i really dont give two shits about anything that goes on it the world. anyways i saw that there was a new primus album coming out. i havent listened to primus in a long time. but i always enjoyed them when i did. hell the last time i saw them in concert was the last time all of the ag's went and we threw skittles all over the place while pual got lost in the slums. hoo ahh! anyways. that was back in the good old days when gals were gals and men were men. hell even "herb" played drums for em back then. the last few albums its been the psuedo-mexican "brain." hes good but hes no "herb." well i went to best buy today to spend some money i didnt have on a cd taht i probably didnt need. jadyn went with me and proceeded to grab every cd with an animal or a clown on the front cover and bring it too me asking "can i have this one daddy?" things like ludicrus and shit like that. "No jadyn, im fucking drunk ass broke. all i can afford is primus." "but daddy its gotta a chicken." or "but daddy its got a bear" or "but daddy its got a clown" or "but daddy its got a pear headed lady skull fucking a cactus with a large metal rod up her ass while seven bald men are taking an all natural viagra supplement." anyways. you get the idea. well eventually i found my prized cd. its on sale for 9.99 which really suprised me when i saw the orginal price of 15.99. i was like wow, what alls on this thing. usually these two cd sets say includes bonus dvd, which basically means they put 12minutes and 62.5 seconds of the person whiping his ass or walking in front of cameras or other inane shit. this album however advertised a dvd witha bonus cd. i didnt see that in the best buy add but there it was right in front of me. the last time i saw such a thing was on tools salival which cost me 30 some bucks and the "bonus" cd was ten times better then the dvd. but good ole les didnt let me down. reading the back of the album the dvd is listed first and includes all of the primus videos. even the devil went down to georgia. 13 in all. way better then tools 5 videos. its all got a shitload of extras like the making of various videos, live perfomances, documentories and all kinds other shit. plus its about 80 times easier to navigate thru then tools. (you wouldnt think that it would be that hard to navigate through a dvd with ONLY 5 videos on it but it is. ask bryan). the bonus cd was also equally as nutz as it said "NEW MATERIAL FROM THE ORIGINAL LINE UP" i assumed that to mean it was stuff they played in concert or something but i was wrong. theres 5 new songs on it and all of em are with good ole herb on drums. its pretty good stuff. BUY PRIMUS AND SAVE... your soul.

"I've said it once and I'll say it again. Les Claypool is a mutant." ~AG

Change is good:
ive recently come to the conclusion that the world is as good as it will ever be. we have reached the pinnacle of our evolutionary track thru the multiverse. its just not gonna get any better folks. sorry to say. i was changing a light bulb the other day. something i do pretty regularily. and it occured to me that lightbulbs have been around for a really long time. i dont know how long cuz im too lazy to look it up and would rather just bitch about it but im sure its a long time. i think it was that thomas edison guy who they name everything after in this godforsaken shithole they call port huron. i think it was him who invented it or at least he had something to do with it. and i know hes been dead for awhile and im pretty sure he was dead before i was born so it must have been awhile cuz im half way to fifty and thats like halfway to a hundred and a hundred is really fucking old. anyways it occured to me that if light bulbs have been around for so long why do they still go out about once every month or two. i mean cant we improve on this shit a little? the answer is yes. we couldd and probably already have improved on it. theres probably one out there thatll last for 10 years before it burns out or hell maybe even one that never needs to be changed. but what kinda sales would something like that get? certainly not nearly as much as one that needs to be replaced every 36 days. so in a society that revolves around profit and not improvement we are forever stuck. think about some other thingss in the same situation. we can cure any disease out there. but cancer and aids seem to keep eluding us. these are the two most profitable diseases in the world to treat and each year we donate eleventy trillion dollars to the research for a cure. now if those scientists ever did actually find a cure, what are the odds that they would release it? i know i sure fucking wouldnt. and lose my eleventy trillion dollar salary. fuck that. id flush it down the toilet and set the office on fire first. or for example, take the car industry. each year we make cars that use up more gas, need more parts, have more shit go wrong with them, are bigger, faster (i never got that, sure i speed but i usually dont do over 180mph or anywheres even close to that), and have less interior space then my cat carrier. then the car companies paint them bright ass yellow, drive em around abit and we all drool over em. im sure im not the only one whos read rumors of oil filters and window wipers taht never need to be changed. wonder why none of them ever got released? becuase some asshole decided it was better to have his guys working making oil filters that need to be changed every 3 monthes. i understand his point. if we improve things that means less jobs. since we have an ever growing population and an ever increaseing ability to improve and lessen the need for those people, we are stuck. the only solution i can see is a holocuast followed by a strict regiment on breeding. you gotta admit theres a lotte people out there who shouldnt breed. (like rednecks.) make people register to have a kid other wise its killed and ground up for use in hamburgers. and make em have to pass some sorta of parental iq test with questions like do you think its okay to let your child have everything he/she wants and become a spoiled sniviling brat? those who answer yes can be killed and ground up for more hamburger. i think that would solve alotta problems. those little kids in africa? well thered be a lot less of em whining on my tv for more money and rice. and those that were still around would have plenty of fresh juicy hamburger. we could do the same thing to prisons. anyone with a life sentence or more we could just grind up and feed to the others. cuts down on crime by using fear based tactics. cuts down on prison costs but not having to support so many prisoners and by suppling food for the remaining ones. its a good deal all around. now why cant everyone else see it my way?


link of the day: http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1717 its amazing what you can do with a pear. this was submitted by jimbob.

"I wan't downloadable suicide." ~MM