10 things I've learned since I got married

Well, being that V-day was my 5.5 year aniversary, I figured I'd write something about all the things that I have learned over the past 5.5 years that I would have never had the pleasure of knowing without being married. So here it goes.

1. You can still be right.
Sure you have to pick a fight right after over something trivial and lose and then apologize shortly after for the second arguement. But at least you can be right about the important things.

2. You can still get laid after being right.
A little more tricky. Usually requires chocolate, flowers, or alcohol. But it is possible.

3. Shopping for clothes can be fun.
The best part of shopping for her clothes is that you get to have some say in what she'll be wearing. And she will almost always take your opinion over her own. If you want her to dress in scantily clad leather in public places, then this is about the only way.

4. There are times when sex doesn't sound like fun.
Granted they are usually after having it four times in a row in under an hour, but it does happen. I couldn't beleive it at first either, but after working for 23 hours straight, sleep sounds like a lot more fun.

5. Pregnant women are very horny.
While it may be a bit of a task to have sex with them, they always want it. The key is to remember something I like to call "P.I.S.S." Pickles, ice cream, soothing, then sex

6. If you leave it alone for long enough someone else will do it.
Changing diapers sucks. Changing poopy diapers really sucks. If you ignore it for long enough, she'll probably change. Course, she'll bitch you out first but if you pay attention to items 1 and 2 then it won't matter anyways.

7. Wives and kids are useful.
Not only can the supply endless amounts of entertainment, but they make the absolute best tax deductions. And they are good go-fers as well.

8. There are benefits to cohabitation.
While dating is certainly preferred to over living with someone, there are benifits with the later. Like getting all of your laundry, dishes, and cooking done for free. Also sex is more readily available even though it may require a little more work.

9. Women are better equipped for farting then men.
While they may not do it as loud or as often, they are better equipped for it. They can fart out of both their ass and there pussy. Each has its own individual range of sounds that it can produce and on very rare occassions they can both go off at the same time. It's almost harmonius. I'd like to see a guy who can fart out of his dick-hole.

10. Love.
While, maybe not the greatest part, having someone to wake up to kiss every morning is kind of reassuring. Just make sure she brushes her teeth first.

I love you Stace. Thanx for the past 5 and half years and heres to the next several.