FUCK YOU AGAIN Best Buy!!!!

Well, I probably shouldn’t have titled this "Fuck You Again Best Buy." It’s not really their fault. It’s not their policies fault. It’s not any of their employees fault. But since I’ve decided to make Best Buy my whipping boy for the year, I’m going to blame them. Besides, like five of the 30 or so people who actually read this crap, work there. So that’s like one sixth of our total viewers. So here’s to you Geek Squad!

You see, about three years ago, I bought my first DVD player from Best Buy. It was a Panasonic DVD five disk changer, with mp3 and jpg and Kodak capabilities, full surround sound, and all kinds of other crazy features I’ve never had any use for. Three years ago, this thing was the shit. It was the fucking bomb of DVD players. Well, at least to me it was. Actually, to me it was just a good sale and a way for me to spend all of the Best Buy gift certificates I had gotten for Christmas at once.

As usual, with 90% of my Best Buy purchases, I bought the service plan. And it was a good fucking thing too. After only a few months of owning the thing, it broke down. The Geek Squad shipped it away to their homeboys at the service center and a few weeks later I got back a working Panasonic five disk changer, with mp3 and jpg and Kodak capabilities, full surround sound, and all kinds of other crazy features I’ve never had any use for. I was happy again. Complete. Whole with my television and my small collection of DVD disks.

About a year later, it died again. Same “HO7” error message. Same problem. Same results. So I took it into Best Buy and the Geek Squad shipped it away to their shorties at the service center and a few weeks later I got back a working Panasonic five disk changer, with mp3 and jpg and Kodak capabilities, full surround sound, and all kinds of other crazy features I’ve never had any use for. I was happy again. Complete. Whole with my television and my then growing collection of DVD disks.

Then in July of 2004, it died again. Same “HO7” error message. Same problem. Same results. So I took it into Best Buy and the Geek Squad shipped it away to their g-dawgs at the service center and a few weeks later I got back a working Panasonic five disk changer, with mp3 and jpg and Kodak capabilities, full surround sound, and all kinds of other crazy features I’ve never had any use for. I was happy again. Complete. Whole with my television and my 100+ collection of DVD disks.

Mr. Nuts informed me of Best Buy’s Lemon Policy. Apparently, if something has already broken down three times, when you bring it in the fourth time they give you a new one. I saw a light. A faint shimmering bulb in the back of my brain-skull. It whispered to me. First quietly, then progressively louder. Finally it just fucking yelled “BREAK YOUR DVD PLAYER!!!” So since July that has been my goal. But I had to break it in such a way as to be the products fault and not mine. A trick if there ever was one.

So I put an old dusty scratched up DVD in and let it play. That DVD player has been playing movies 24-7 since July. I’d find movies that would repeat themselves automatically and leave them in there for weeks. It’s not like I watch movies that often. And usually if I do it’s on HBO.
Well last night, my daughter went to the emergency room for breathing problems. Apparently her throat decided to stop working for some reason. A long night sleeping on a very uncomfortable hospital recliner, a couple of shots of steroids, and a few breathing treatments (and a lot of fucking money) later, she was breathing again. So we brought her home. She was still irritable and wanted to watch a movie. Now she doesn’t normally like movies or television all that much. But the one thing she watches without fail is Spongebob Squarepants. So I checked Nickelodeon, and it was playing Fairly Odd Parents. So I put in our Spongebob DVD. Disk reading. Disk reading. Disk reading. “HO7” Only one word parsed my lips. fuck.

So I called the Best Buy service department. Had them check to see when the warranty expired on my Panasonic five disk changer, with mp3 and jpg and Kodak capabilities, full surround sound, and all kinds of other crazy features I’ve never had any use for. After several minutes of waiting, the lady came back on line to tell me my service plan ended on January 26th. Here’s to you… FUCK YOU AGAIN BEST BUY!