Top 50 Video Games: Number 48
#48: Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!
System: Nintendo Entertainment System
Publisher: Nintendo
Released: 1987
Players:1
Glass Joe at his best.
This was one of the NES's big hits. It was a big deal back in the day before Mike Tyson was known as a flesh eating violent criminal rapist. Those of you who did play this game will be strolling down memory lane with me as you read the following list:
Glass Joe "Make it quick... I want to retire!"
- Glass Joe was a big sissy. A few good shots to the jaw would put him down. This was your first fight, and it wasn't technically a tutorial, but pretty close.
Von Kaiser- "I will teach you a lesson. You will fall down!"
- Von Kaiser's mustache was pretty great, but he was also a pushover. Little Mac would wipe the mat with this guy.
Piston Honda - "I'll give you a TKO from Tokyo!"
- By far the best trash talker in the game. He would just scream gibberish, random Japanese words like Kawasaki at you. A TKO from Tokyo??? Brilliant!!!
Don Flamenco - "People like my hair. don't mess my hair!"
- This guy is what David Haselhoff would look like if you put his head in a vice and squeezed it. He also did this little flamenco dance that was vaguely homosexual.
King Hippo - "Ha Ha Ha! I'm the king! Ha Ha Ha!"
- Another great talker, demonstrated by the above quote. One good shot to the stomach and this big fucker would lie on the mat like a beached whale.
Great Tiger - "I have purred long enough! Now hear me roar!"
- A few years ago when I got the ROM for this game, I had to email Tom and ask how to beat The Great Tiger. His little Hindu jewel would flash and cause me to be dazed for 1d4 seconds.
Bald Bull - "My Barber didn't know when to quit... Do you?"
- This guy was big, scary and difficult. Trying to time it just right to dodge his Bull Rush was a bitch.
Soda Popinski - "Would you like some punch to drink? Ha, ha, ha!"
- This guy was a big goof. "I can't drive, so I'm gonna walk all over you!" What a dumbass.
- This guy was bulky and tough. He would talk shit about putting little Mac to bed and whatnot.
Super Macho Man - "I don't smoke... But tonight I'm gonna smoke you!"
- These quotes remind me of Ben Stiller's character in the movie Super Dodgeball. Anyhoo, this guy was a badass, a proper villain leading to the showdown with Big Mike. He would spin around really fast and force you to block like 500,000 times in a row. He beat me up a lot.
Mike Tyson - "Hey! Is this kid a joke? Where's the real challenger?"
- I remember the first time I beat Iron Mike. I was in awe of myself, I thought that my life had reached it's pinnacle. In retrospect, facing down the specter of Tyson today would be a lot scarier than it was then, when he was just a badass boxer.
There you have it, folks. Punch-Out's wacky cast of characters. The game was redone a couple of times, minus Tyson's name of course. It's still fun and playable today. I actually ran over to Best Buy and spent $15 on a usb controller for my PC and I'm about to kick Glass Joe's ASS. Ha Ha Ha! I'm the king! Ha Ha Ha!
posted by
@ 12:01 AM
|
7 Comments:
"I am the king. Ha ha ha." ~ Eric Cheeseburger
I remember going to macomb mall as a kid. In the sears store there was a NES and on it was Mike Tyson's punch out. The machine was designed to occupy kids while their parents were shopping. I would walk up, enter the password "007-373-5963" hit start and begin fighting Iron Mike. I had it down where I could consistantly beat Mike in round 3 by TKO. The fight would literally draw a crowd. In retrospect, I'm not sure why, but it did. A crowd would gather. I remember a father saying to his boy, "Who's that?" The boy would reply.. "That's MIKE TYSON!" Anyways, the fight would last 3 rounds, and like clockwork, at about 2:30 in the 3rd, Iron Mike would go down for the last time. The crowd would cheer a little and disperse, my mom would walk over and say "ready to go?" End of session.
I couldn't see that happening today. Today's games would never have the crowd drawing effect that that one did. For me I would sctually rank this higher.
Good memories.
Good story, Jimbob.
you do see a few games today drawing crowds if someone is playing on it and really good at it. In fact, one game I now that always draws a crowd is Dance Dance Revolution. People tend to flock to that game like flies to poop.
And once again, B.C. shows us just how gay he really is. ;) That's ok though, as long as the other guy is cute too.
Well, the code I noted above will allow you to fight Mike every time. Here's some tips:
Mike's first 1:30 in the first he throws knockdown punches. One hit and you're down. Avoid those and forget counterattacking.
After that are jabs. Counter with head shots. Iron mike is not a sucker for Mac's uppercuts, so take those stars and use them sparingly. If you're good, you can knock mike down once in the first.
The second round starts with jabs. Mike imitates Piston Honda sometimes in the 2nd. Block and counter with head shots. You should get at least one knock down here too.
The 3rd round is critical. Just treat him like any other fight. dodge, headshot, dodge headshot. If you get three knockdowns it's a TKO. If you break 5000 in points, you get the decision. I've never knocked him out.
The goddamn Logitech Dual Action Gamepad is going back to the store tomorrow. The D Pad is kind of circular, and it has trouble distinguishing between the different directions. I guess buying the cheapest thing on the shelf, even by a well known brand, means you're going to get a box full of shit when you get home.
Post a Comment
<< Home