Sick and Disturbing Tales: Hammer Time

Hi. My name is Joe. Sometimes people call me "Hammer," but mostly only becuase I gave myself that nickname. I live in Detroit. About two years ago I got a job as a stripper in a local strip dive on the east side. It's not a great job but it pays the rent. Well, the stripping doesn't actually pay the rent. I've got a few "clients" who pay for some "extra" attention every now and again. They are what pays the rent. Okay, so they got a little facial hair or ain't exactly thin, so what. It's a job.

Well a couple of weeks ago, after one of my shows, a guy came up to me and told me he loved the show. This was the first time a guy had ever said anything about the show. "I'm straight," I told him and walked away. He followed and explained that he wasn't looking to fuck me, but that he wanted to use me in a porno video he was shooting. He said I'd be the only guy in it and thered be about 10 bisexual women in it as well. This, of course, along with every other straight male, was my fantasy. So I agreed without even finding out how much I'd get paid. He then gave me the address to the place and said to be there the next day about 11:00 AM. He said to be on time as they planned on doing a lot of shooting that day and would be on a tight schedual. I bid him goodnite and went home to bed where I dreamed of having sex with 10 women at the same time.

The next day, I woke up. Went to Taco John's for my morning fiesta omlette with extra chili suace and refried beans all smoothered in a salsa and sour cream sauce. Mmm mmm mmm, damn those things are delicious. It's no wonder I eat one every day. Anyways, after that I headed out to the studio whose address the man had given me the night before. It was only three blocks from Taco John's so I got there about 10 minutes early.

I went up to the lady behind the counter, told her who I was, and she ushered me thru a series of hallways to a studio room full of cameras, lights, and various furniture, but most importantly, it was filled with ten of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, and everyone of them was buck naked. I tell ya the truth, I had a full on woody before I had even finished looking at the first two. Damn them were some hot bitches.

I quickly undressed as per the director's instructions and started making out with one of the ladies. It was amazing. I was kissing this chick and two more started sucking on my junk, while a third played with my nipples from behind. I blew my load in almost 20 seconds. Well that meant for a pause while a couple of the chicks "fluffed" me up and some very pissed off looks from the director. The camera guy kept filming in case this was all he was gonna get. One chick was sucking me off while I stood there and another came up from behind and sucked on the twins.

It was right about then when the trouble started. I could feel this strange yet wonderful sensation in my stomach and lower intestine. I'd felt it many time before, but for the first time in my life, it felt like exstacy. A gurgle, a fizz, a pop, and out of now where PLLPPPPTTTTTT! It was one of the biggest, wettest, meanest farts I had ever let. The women on me scattered like men from Luarana Bobbitt. And I just stood there smiling, standing in my own little cloud of terror. As I looked around I saw the expressions. It was like time had stopped. The director was furious. The camera man had doubled over laughing. The two women looked sickened. And that is when I noticed it. I had left a stain. The second chick's forehead had a brown mark about the size of a quarter. It was amazing. I had finally left my mark upon the world, and it smelled like shit.

Needless to say, I was fired on the spot. But the camera man ran outside and gave me his card and we've been shooting movies ever since. 'Course, they lengthened my nickname a bit. Now its Fart-Hammer.