The First Time I Heard the F Bomb

I grew up in a very small town. Until I went to school at the age of 5, I hadn't had a lot of contact with other children. My mother, although now a bit less reserved, at the time was all for keeping me from hearing too much swearing. Of course I heard the occasional "Shit" or "God Damnit" but never "Fuck." How I managed to get to 1st grade with not only understanding it was a swear word, but never hearing the word uttered at all I can't understand.

One day I was on the school bus sitting next to a kid named Jeff. I was looking out the window, or sleeping, or something similar when Jeff says, "Did you hear what he said?" I hadn't, I didn't even know what Jeff was talking about, so I shook my head. "He said the 'F' word!" I thought Jeff had gone crazy. An 'F' word?

"What is the 'F' word Jeff?"
"I'm not saying it!"
"C'mon, I've never even heard of an 'F' word, you must be crazy."
"No, really there is one, it rhymes with 'Duck'"

That was something to go on. f... u... c... k... ............... f-u-c-k?

"Fuck?"
Jeff's mouth dropped, "You said it!"
"What, fuck?"
"You said it again!"
"That's not a swear word, It sounds really stupid."

He dropped the conversation, afraid somebody might hear. When I got home I confronted my mother.

"Mom, I heard a word today, Jeff says it's a swear word, but I don't believe him."
"What word is it?"
"Fuck."
A look of amusement briefly crossed her face, but she dismissed it quickly. "Yes, that's about the biggest swear word out there."
"It sounds really stupid."
"Maybe, but don't say that one."

And that was how I learned about the "F" bomb.