Shitting Piss

Last night I went to take a piss. As always it took awhile and when I was done after several shakes and squeezes I tucked it back into my pants. And of course it dribbled a little bit down my leg. This happens every time. No matter how hard or for how long I shake it, the last drop always ends up on my leg. I've even tried using a piece of toilet paper (which really takes away the convience of being able to stand while pissing) and tried to mop up the last drop before I tucked everything away. Still dribbled. There's just no pleasing it. shitting is so much more convienent. on the average I can take a shit in about 35 seconds. That's from door closing to final flush. It takes me over a minute to take a leak. When I'm shitting I'm sitting down all nice and comfy. Got to stand when pissing otherwise it feels funny. If it takes awhile while I'm pooping I can read a book. If it takes awhile when I'm pissing I got to hope there's some decent bathroom literature on the wall in front of me. Or I can try and see how big the guys cock is next to me but that probably wouldn't go over too well (refer to Ace Ventura). No matter how messy the shit gets. You can wipe it all off with toilet paper (you can always tell the people who don't wipe well. I call them "diggers"). Pissing no matter what its going to end up on your leg. When your constipated its a little painful but tolerable. When you try to pass something thru the front, oh say a kidney stone, its fucking suicide. So what does it all mean? Well a long time ago I read this thing on Bonsai Kitten. One of the few things this world has actually done that made even me choke back a little bit. I remember them putting super glue over the anus so that everything would turn into a seepage and come out a tube. So I'm thinking, maybe if I super glue my dick shut then when I got to piss it'll just back itself up and go out my anus. I haven't done the research as to its practicality but I think it will work. The only drawback as far as I can see is when I'm having sex. Every time I orgasm I'll end up shitting on the bed. And that's one sticky spot I don't want to sleep in.