Why work sucks

Work sucks. Here's why:

- The customers: Ok, maybe not all of them are bad. But the bad ones lower my faith in the human race. Some people will raise such a stink over petty shit. Some people are honestly stupid and get really mad and yell and scream and threaten; Others just believe that if they complain loudly enough that they will get something for free. I'm not sure which is worse. There's nothing funnier than dealing with a customer who is yelling at you and acting like a 3 year old who just dropped their lollipop. This person's finishing move usually consists of telling you how much money they spend in your store and then saying they'll never be back. Now, I don't know about you Dear Reader, but when someone spends 15 minutes making my life miserable and then exclaims that they're never coming back, well, it's cause for celebration! If I owned my own business, we'd stock party hats, confetti and noisemakers under the counter for just these times. To quote some guy from the movie Clerks, "This job would be great if it weren't for all the fuckin' customers." I think it was Randall. Hmm....customer storms out angrily, cashier solemnly pulls kazoo out and gives a single, small toot. That's fun.

- No balloons: I don't know that I've ever seen a single balloon on display at either of my jobs. Every once in a while a kid or something will come in with a balloon, just gazing at me with that smarmy goddamn I-have-a-balloon-and-you-don't look on his/her face. Not that I hate children, mind you. Not all of them anyways. Just the ones that scream bloody murder when they don't get their way. Come to think of it, they're likely the offspring of the adults who scream bloody murder when they don't get their way. So I guess I should be hating the parents. But hey, when a horse breaks it's leg, you don't ask how it got that way, you just shoot it.

- I have to go there: This is probably the worst thing about work. I hate going there, regardless of the job. I have a schedule tacked up on my wall that says I have to be there between the hours of 3 and 10. That sucks. Even if I had a job that I enjoy, I still hate watching the clock. If I had my way I'd stay home in my underwear and do nothing but write about things that piss me off all day. There are several trees outside and I am considering hollowing one out and moving into it when my lease expires.

- Uniforms: After visiting my local Wal-Mart, my stance on uniforms has changed a bit. Uniforms are a good thing if used properly. When I do go into Wal-Mart, there seems to be no dress code for employees except the little Wal-Mart vests. Thus, I often see people wearing clothing with vomit and little bits of cheese stuck to it. Doesn't make for a nice shopping environment when it looks like the guy ringing me out lives in a ditch out behind the store. Anyhoo, my uniform sucks. I look like a goddamn Jehovah's Witness. "goddamn Jehovah's Witness!" Just a bit of religous humor for all my fans out there in internet land, ho ho!

- Customers: One more type of customer - the ones that think they are funny. I work in a movie theatre, and I swear to christ the next senior citizen who asks if I want to see their ID for an R-Rated movie is getting punched in the head.

These are just a few reasons why work sucks. Thank you.

Bryan